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29 August 2007

S.W.M.B.O. & the Giant Ghost Pumpkin / the secret of growing monster pumpkins

This new Ghost Pumpkin makes very spooky Jack-o-Lanterns.

S.W.M.B.O. is not smiling as broadly as she might wish. In early Spring she bought Ghost Pumpkin seeds and tried to grow them herself, and by late August they had grown to the size of cherry tomatoes. She wanted to find the gardener who grew this Ghost Pumpkin and murder him, but he was nowhere to be found.

The Secret of growing monster giant humungous pumpkins is ... uhhh ... excrement. Manure. 50-pound bag after bag of poop.

That's it. That's the big secret.

If the Big Circus comes to town, they sell bags of extra-expensive Tiger and Lion poop. Some gardeners are convinced the poop of exotic wild jungle cats is better than cow poop, and make a special trip not to see the Circus, but to buy the expensive jungle cat poop.

The Big Circus was co-founded by Phineas T. Barnum, who said: "There's a sucker born every minute."

3 comments:

Amy Stone said...

Woah...that's a huge pumpkin! I bet both you and her could fit into it! Do those pumpkins make good pie? SWMBO might be not smiling so much because she was looking forward to having a pumpkin of her own to make pie with? Or perhaps the picture taker didn't amuse her as much when shooting the photo...*evil cheesy grin*

James J. Olson said...

were there oliphaunts? you could use the dung of oliphaunts.

www.cordoba-3d.com said...

For my part every person should read it.